


Book of Mormon: Mormons in Space

by Curnin_Orzabal



Category: Halo: Halos in Space, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Bad Fic, Halo fic, Halos In Space, Halos in Space 2: Aliens Attack, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5258600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curnin_Orzabal/pseuds/Curnin_Orzabal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elder Price was in Uganda and was a mormon guy but he wasnt a angel liek Moroni so he didnt fly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The general is coming to get Kevin Price so he has to leave quick.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a parody of one of the most famously bad Halo fanfics ever written-- squirrelking's "[Halo: Halos In Space](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2977058/1/Halo-Halos-in-Space)". I don't write for the Halo fandom, but as soon as I saw [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKYKXAakmuw) I laughed hysterically and decided I had to parody the fic somehow. 
> 
> It's basically a retelling of the BoM plot in as close to the same spelling, grammar and punctuation style as possible of the original (note the distinct lack of commas). Since there are two parts to the original and two acts to the play, there will be two chapters.
> 
> Enjoy! I hope you like.

Elder Price was in Utah and had lots of paper back LDS books and was a mormon guy but he wasnt a angel like Moroni so he didnt fly. Elder Price was one day in a place and putting book of Mormon on front doors and saying "Hello my name is Elder Price would you liek to read this most amazeing book".  
Then he got a call in his mormonmobile (that's a car with super special mormon powers) that said to him " ELDER PRICE YOU ARE GOING TO UGANDA WITH ELDER CUNNINGHAM. COME HERE QUICK" So he went.

Elder Price ran fast there to where people in Uganda had AIDS and a terrible evil general. General started making terrible rules like "all girls must be ~~circu~~ ~~circi~~ cirkumsizd" so Elder Price had to do something quick. Elder Price and Elder Cunningham ran to meet people in Uganda(nice people not friends of the evil general). The people sang a song that killd their feelings of sadness at being ruled by a horrible evil general called "Hasa Diga Eebowai". Elder Price and Elder Cunningham askd them what that meant and Mafala the regular guy said to them " Eebowai means God and Hasa Diga means fuck you, so Hasa Diga Eebowai means Fuck you God". Elder Price and Elder Cunninghams eyebrows jumped into space.

After teh normil Uganda people, Elder Price and Elder Cunningham went to meet other Mormons and there were many of them but they couldn't make any of the normal Uganda people become Mormons too. Elder McKinley then sang a song calld "Turn it off" about turning off your bad feelings (liek his own feelings about being gay). Teh other Mormons joined in and Elder McKinley had pink sparkly vests for everyone. Elder Price was embarassed and said "I'm not having gay thoughts!" and Elder Cunningham said "Alright it worked!" Which probly meant he DID have gay thoughts. And everything got wet and messy and lightningy and all the things and made sparks.

Elder Price wanted to run away becaus evil general was coming and saying all women had to be cirumsizd in 1 week. But he also wanted to show the good regular people about being a Mormon so he made up a song about Joseph Smith. Some people were listening but they all stopped listening when a man came in saying "My people and mormon guys hurry up the general is coming". Then the general came and becaues he's an evil guy he shot and killd the other man. Right in front of Elder Price and got him all bloody. Mafala then yelled "NOOOOO HE WAS MY BROTHER!" and then got tired and slept.

Elder Price lookd a front of him and said "Elder Cunningham you idiot this is nothing like teh Lion King!" Then he got in his mormonmobile and did a barral roll and the evil general shot like "bang bang bang" but he missed. He didnt care if he left behind Elder Cunningham. He wanted to leave Uganda too and go to his favorite place Orlando where he was safe and could go to Disney World.

Elder McKinley then said to the other mormon guys "Teh mission president is here. He wants report n we gotta do something fast" so they did, knowing the presidnet would skwash them if they failed.

Elder Cunningham was now alone and he had to save teh regular Uganda people and the other Mormon guys but he didnt know how but then Naboo (I cant spell it and niether can Elder Cunningham) a regular girl came up to him and said "no we win" to him.

to be continued...?


	2. General wants to kill Mormons but Elders fight back!

Elder Cunningham bended his leg and his other legs and lookd at his book of Mormon and said "I know you're all really depressed with your AIDS and evrything but there's an answer in Christ." But Matumbo (another regular guy) said the book of mormon was useless and he was going to rape a baby to cure his AIDS. Elder Cunningham yelled "NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!" and he standed up and said "Thats against God's will! The Lord said to Joseph Smith don't have sex with babies or you will burn in teh firey pits of Mordor!!!!" And Elder Cunningham said "Have sex with frogs instead. Joseph Smith laid down with a frog and cured his AIDS."

Then Gotswana was going to have his daughter cirumszied because the evil general said so and Elder Cunningham said "NO! DON'T DO THAT!" and "3 men in New York were gonna do that and Jesus had BOBA FETT turn them into FROGS!" Nabuulunigi askd "the same frogs that Joseph Smith got rid of his AIDS with?" "Yes" said Elder Cunningham. " ~~Clitros~~ ~~Klito~~ Clits are holy and shuld be saved and the Lord said it is so." And he was very happy that his story worked.

Mean while Elder Price steppd out of his mormonmobile and found himself in beutiful Orlando! But he couldnt re member how he got there so he knew he was dreaming. He did remeber stealing a donut from his dad and blaming it on his brother Jack who got grounded. Then a dark cloud and fire and smoke came down and Elder Price then knew he was in a SPOOKY MORMON HELL DREAM! And in that dream he saw Hitler and Jeffry Dhamer and Gengis Kahn and Johnny Cochran and huge cups of coffee dancing around and trolling him. Then Jesus showed up and called Elder Price a dick!

Elder Price then woke up and said "I believe in the mission I was born to do!"and sang a song called " I Believe" and walked right up to teh evil general determind to talk to him about being a Mormon. But the general took him away and shovd the Book of Mormon up Elder Prices butt and that made Elder Price very sad. He got in his mormonmobile and went away to a coffee shop (that's against mormon rules) and drank twelve whole cups of coffee becuase he was sad.

Elder Cunningham was happy though becaus he baptizd all the regular people in the village. They liked his stories about frogs and clits and AIDS because they had something to do with their regualr lives. The general heard this and said "They will power up their clits and destroy me I MUST KILL THEM ALL!!"

The regular people then put on a big show for the mission presidnet to show him how much they learnd about being Mormons. But the show was full of stuff that wasnt in the original Book of Mormon liek the starship Enterprise and teh Ewoks. The mission president was mad and yelled "This mission is over". And Elder Cunningham was very sad. But then Elder Price came back and said " Your storys helped people and made them feel good and that's all that matters." And Elder Cunningham was happy again.

But then the evil general showd up saying he'd kill them all. But he didn't kill any one. Becuase by their super special mormon powers Elder Price and Elder Cunningham won against him and converted him to a mormon as well. Now teh evil general is an Elder General and he goes knockin on doors and saying "Hello my name is Elder" like all the other Elders. And happy Elder Price and Elder Cunningham got in teh mormonmobile and rode off into the sunset.

to be continued...?


End file.
